Sunday, June 15th, was a very stressful, emotional, and exhausting day. Our little mutt, Ms. Sassy had to be put to sleep, she had been with us for 17 years. She had been ill for quite some time and we knew her time was getting close. It had only been in the last couple months that she seemed to have been getting worse. With our financial hardships we were unable to do the test (that would cost us an enormous amount of money) to 'dignose' the issues going on in her feeble body.
We babied her and tried to make her comfortable in the last stages of her life, but when is was evident that life was just seeping out of your little body, I had to take her in....
If you have never had to put a dog down, it is the most horrible and heart breaking thing to do... This was our second time doing it (we had a chocolate Lab, 10 years ago, that was 12 1/2 years old we put down) and it didn't make it any easier. I was such a mess I couldn't even speak to the vet over the phone about bringing her in... I called my husband who had just left to work and emotionally fell apart. He was horribly saddened he was not and could not be with us to do this very thing.
Once I gained some composer I made my son, Sean, come with me and Julian came along as well. As soon as we walked in the people at the vet were extremely kind to us and very comforting... they put us in a room and we loved on Sassy... She would just look at us and not move her little body... Julian was a mess.
I knew it probably wasn't a good idea to have my 9 year old in the room with us, but I was torn whether to have him experience this in his life or be sheltered from it. In the end he stayed with us and was emotionally frazzled... The Dr. examined her and told us, it was time... she lived a long good life, I was in tears. I knew Sassy was suffering and this was the kindest thing could do for her, but it still was so hard for me. My heart broke into a million pieces, Julian's little heart was shattered and Sean couldn't keep the tears from falling. We were all heart-sick...
As soon as Sassy was no longer with us, we just held each other and cried big sobs of tears... I wished my husband was with us and I was sad Cynthia was at work and not able to be with us as well. :((( So, so sad indeed.
After we said our good-byes we came home to two beautiful girls waiting for us... They wagged their tails and came to our feet with all the loyalty and love dogs have for their owners. I am thankful they were here to soften our broken hearts but I really think they knew something was different. Julian couldn't get over the fact that the dogs knew we left with Sassy and came home without her... he made himself sick over this.
We really had a hard time the rest of the day... Our emotions were over the top and we couldn't stop crying.. It was draining and exhausting. I knew in my mind once everyone got a good nights rest, everyone would feel better. And as the days go by our two girls have made our days better and easier.
I'm thankful for my little family and the bond we have created within our little core. I count this as a blessing from the LORD; another manifestation of God's wonderful mercy and grace working in our lives.
