One of the reasons I posted about being blessed was; anxiety.
Have you ever suffered from anxiety or have been extremely worried about stuff that you have no control over? Well, I was there... just recently and it was not a very fun place to be...
Last week everything and anything had me crying, upset, in a cold sweat, concerned, distressed, troubled, drained, dragging, exhausted, overwhelmed, miserable, restless, uneasy and completely worried; ANXIETY!!
I know... terrible of me, right? When I should be strong and trust in God with huge amounts of faith and unceasing prayer. And then I go and talk about all the unmentionables above. But I will be very honest and say;
YES, I was experiencing all these things and so much more...
I had prayed for specific things in my families life (cause we are all in this together). Knowing with all confidence that God would answer everyone of my prayers. I felt a strong tug from God about certain areas and I knew if the tug was from God, things would happen and changes would take place. I figured that there would be some difficulties, for when you begin to move forward you will encounter struggles, that's a given. I placed all my concerns in the hand of God knowing He would help me through any conflict.
God provided my husband with an, out of town, job. I know it doesn't sound like a blessing (and at times it doesn't feel like it), but in all honesty, it was. It was given to him when he had been unemployed for over a year and a half (with part of that looking for employment to no avail). And right after my job was no more because of an unforeseen circumstance. God came through, right on time!! At the same time he and I felt a strong tug to start remodeling our home and getting it ready for a future business; daycare/preschool.
So as we began on this whirlwind of an adventure, I realized I was beginning to feel... ah... a little concerned or a tad bit uneasy. As things began to unravel, it turned into an all out war of the emotions. My poor husband was at his wits end, not being able to comfort me when he was so far away on his job; I really felt bad for him as well. My daughter ran out of encouraging words because she felt they were not penetrating the large wall of overwhelming emotion I began to build up.
One of the changes taking place was just the mere fact of re-establishing ourselves in 'order' and 'stability' that we had lost in our years of neglect and irresponsibility. I have to stop here and tell you that when you decided to take control of your life after being so unconcerned and uncaring about it for so long, it is an overwhelming feat; talk about anxiety!! But with God all things are possible and He will supply all the strength and wisdom you need.
Another change was the fact of finding Julian a new school. Not only did I lose my job but he lost his school as well. How will I ever find anything that will even compare to what we had at Creative Frontier School!? I, personally, do not like the public school and all it's teachings including its disregard to the things of God. But I had to do something quick, summer was at it's end. Public school was not an option and homeschooling was not going to work, I knew Julian was too social to be kept at home, and I needed my sanity. I began to look into charter schools, everyone I looked at had a waiting list so long there was no way he would get in at the start of the school year. I began to panic... just a little. A friend told me about a Private Christian School not to far from where we lived. I checked into it and found that it was affordable IF my business was well on it's way, BUT, my business hadn't even started; I began to bring my plight before the LORD and He heard my cry. I went before the school board and they told me to enroll Julian and they would look into my situation and see what they could do for me. I began to cry with thanksgiving (thinking they were going to give us some kind of scholarship) only to find out after being, a month, into the school they were only going to waive the tuition and the first month. After that Id have to start paying *YIKES* But GOD in all His mercy, knowing it was my greatest dream to send Ju to a good private christian school, came through once again!
There are many things we are facing; only because we have chosen to make God the center of our lives and make changes where changes needed to take place. God gave us the lead, tugged at our hearts and began a work in us... we in turn have had to face the many challenges that come with change. Last week all anxiety broke loose, lol... It over took me in such a grip I honestly felt I couldn't breathe. Why the anxiety?? Well... I began to look at all the impossibilities, all the chances of these dreams and promises not coming to pass. Why should they, it was unlikely, improbable.
But of course we know that with God ALL things are possible...
There are many things we are facing; only because we have chosen to make God the center of our lives and make changes where changes needed to take place. God gave us the lead, tugged at our hearts and began a work in us... we in turn have had to face the many challenges that come with change. Last week all anxiety broke loose, lol... It over took me in such a grip I honestly felt I couldn't breathe. Why the anxiety?? Well... I began to look at all the impossibilities, all the chances of these dreams and promises not coming to pass. Why should they, it was unlikely, improbable.
But of course we know that with God ALL things are possible...
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11So my friend; be encouraged in the LORD. God's POWER is revealed in our weaknesses! Boast of your weakness (anxiety) with gladness because the LORDs power will rest in you!! :)
*HALLELUJAH!*
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
